Category: News

Kicking Off Week Motherfucking 3

Welcome to NFL Week 3!  Here’s a recap of the current Power Ranks.

joebeer.pngLast year was no accident for JJ Wattshappenin. With a team powered by Kareem Hunt, C.J. Anderson, and Tyreek Hill they were able to kick down the fucking doors to 2017 and put up over 95 points in weeks 1 and 2.

“I’m an International Grand Master chess prodigy while all these other clowns are playing Connect Four,”

is what Joe had to say as he extends his winning streak to 6 games if we carry over from last season.  Their last loss was to division rival Mercs in week 11 which is who they will face in week 3.

 

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Why are offenses so shitty this year?  After two weeks of being a 12-team league, we’ve seen a massive drop in average points per game.  Last year in week 1, SBFFL averaged  90.89 PPG compared to this years 72.48 PPG.  Week 2 was a little better at 77.28 PPG compared to last years 86.98 PPG.  It is a small sample size and I expect the averages to go up after we’ve seen more games and know what to expect from offenses.  You can chalk it up to expanding our league, but we certainly can’t argue with how terrible almost every single offense in the NFL has been.

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Shit Start of the Week:  Pool Rats started an injured Danny Amendola earning a big fat goose egg.

 

 

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Waiver Add of the Week:  Rex’s Revenge picking up Buck Allen proved to be the best waiver add of the week earning 16.1 points in the flex.

 

 

welcome_mat_2Meet our league’s Welcome Mat: The Most Blounted, is off to an extremely rocky start.  Fans of the team are learning about a new level of horrendous fantasy football as they have yet to score over 48 points in the first two weeks.  I’m not sure which is more impressive, the fact that they haven’t topped 48 or the fact that they are so dedicated to their team name that Blount will go into the flex slot regardless of talent and situation.  41.9 points in week 2 earn their first PD of the year and 2nd of their 2-season + 2-week career.

Draft Day 9/6

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Don’t forget our new set draft day and time, Wednesday September 6th at 7:00PM CST.  Draft room will open one hour before start time.  There will be a time limit of 60 seconds per pick.

We are NOT using ClickyDraft.  We are using the ESPN draft room.  You can access it by going to our main league page one hour before draft time.

TEST YOUR BROWSER by doing a mock draft first so you don’t get denied at the last second.  Don’t be the guy that can’t get in the room because of some bullshit with Adobe Flash.  Do a mock first and make sure your system and browser can run the draft room without any problems.

Good luck.

Pre-Draft Update

The draft is less than two weeks away and I am fucking STOKED.  I hope you guys are too!

I wanted to give you guys an idea of how the draft will be working so everyone is prepared and I will give you the run down on this new competition I created to determine the 2018 draft order.

All of the draft info about where to be is available on our ESPN league page and it’s also posted at the top of our league website.  If you have problems, the GroupMe chat is the best way to get in touch with another league member since most of us are pretty active on it.  To give you an idea of what it will be like, we will all be sitting at a U-shaped conference table facing a screen with a projector showing the draft board that I made on ClickyDraft.  You will make your picks simply by yelling out your player when it’s your turn, and I will select it for your team on ClickyDraft.  I thought this would be easiest with the internet situation and you won’t need to bring your laptops unless you want to.  Just bring your ranks and something to write with.  The people who are not going to be at the draft (Zack, Carlos, Tony, Chris M.) will draft via their own login.  If you are one of these people, be sure you are able to login to ClickyDraft and claim ownership of your team.

What you need to bring to the draft:

  1. HARD COPIES of your ranks.  (Don’t rely on the internet, it will be average at best.  Also, ClickyDraft does not show any sort of rankings so don’t count on that either.)
  2. Something to write with.
  3. Donation to cover my ass for throwing the draft party.  Donate what you see fit but this party is costing me about 1k.
  4. An appetite. We will have a fuck ton of food, we will all have to double down if we want to finish everything.  Hot dogs, Pretzels, Chips, Snacks etc.
  5. Thirst.  We have our own bartender and an open full bar for 5 hours, let’s make the most of it.
  6. **Someone should bring some good speakers with aux/Bluetooth so we can get some background music going.  Let me know if you can help out here.
  7. A Can-Do Attitude.

As for the 2018 draft order, I created a 5 event challenge on this spreadsheet here: 2018 Slab Bacon Super Pentathlon.  The first event is the Eliminator Challenge which begins on 9/7 and only requires you to pick one game a week.  Most of you have already signed up for this but a few of you still haven’t.  I sent out another invite this morning (8/14). The next few challenges will all be random and require you to do nothing.  The Kentucky Derby, The PGA Masters, and Indy 500 will all come down to a raffle selection.  The only other thing you are required to do in this competition is fill out an NCAA March Madness bracket when that time comes.  Much less work than a kicker league right???  I will keep track of all the points in the spreadsheet and I will document all the raffles so you know I’m not cheating.  You also don’t have do this if you don’t care about the draft order and you will not get a strike for not participating.  If you have any questions just let me know in GroupMe.

Lastly, it’s time to pay the league dues.  Get $75 (remember we voted to increase it) in my PayPal account before draft day.  Send via PayPal *AS A GIFT to https://www.paypal.me/CGentile.