Bacon Banner Week Here We GO!

Welcome to Week 4 of the NFL, you motherfuckers.  You know what week 4 means, it means Bacon Banner payouts to the highest scoring team each week til the end of the playoffs.  Time to shit or get off the pot.  Also, don’t forget about the international games get your lineup set before the early kickoff starts.  Lastly, there has been confusion about the Eliminator Challenge.  You can only pick a team once, but if you lose a week, you can still keep playing and earning points. You are not out completely if you already lost a game.  The more points you get, the better chance you have at a higher draft pick, so if you thought you were out and you give a shit about the draft order, please keep playing.

Here is write-up and your power ranks after 3 weeks football.

  • #1 – JJ Wattshappenin
  • #2 – Bangers and Thrash
  • #3 – Oregon Trail Battlewagon
  • #4(t) – Drop it Like it’s Popp
  • #4(t) – Matt is Werd Dawgs
  • #6 – FAF HAM
  • #7 – Pool Rats
  • #8 – South Main Mercs
  • #9 – Rex’s Revenge
  • #10 – Cushing 40 Pushing
  • #11 – Four Loko Power Trip
  • #12 – The Most Blounted

On the up and up…


Drop it like it’s Popp is off to a strong start after having terrible luck for several years in SBFFL.  After 55 career games played he has an average of 91.2 PA, but all of that should start fading into the background with this new 2017 squad.  Since last week they have jumped up 4 spots in the power rankings and have held the #1 Roster Score (for rest of season) in 2 of the last 3 weeks.  I’m sure we can all bet that he’s blasting “Stefon (no) Diggity” everywhere he goes this week.

 Power Teams are Emerging…

445451It’s starting to become clear on who the teams to beat are, and all eyes are currently on JJ Wattshappenin’, Bangers and Thrash, and Matt is Werd Dawgs, who are all averaging over 90 PPG.

SHITTY DEFENSE – man a lot of you sucked at picking D/STs last week…


Holy hell guys, what the shit was this?  5 of the 12 teams had a D/ST score negative points, and to top it all off, the Jacksonville fucking Jaguars (tied with KC at 12 points) had the highest point total of all D/STs that started last week.  I don’t think the Jags have ever done that in this league and I don’t think we’ve ever had more than just 2 or 3 D/STs get negative points in one week.

  • Bangers and Thrash – BAL D/ST (-7)
  • Rex’s Revenge – TB D/ST (-4)
  • Cushing 40 Pushing – SEA D/ST (-4)
  • JJ Wattshappenin – ARI D/ST (-3)
  • Pool Rats – CAR D/ST (-3)

First they take our jobs, now they have the strongest division.

giphy4I’ll be god damned, the Canadian Bacon Division is currently on top and all four teams have been performing well.  Every team in this division is averaging over 80 PPG, and the current power rankings hold all 4 teams in the top half of SBFFL at #2, #4(t), #4(t), and #6.  Can you believe it?


Kicking Off Week Motherfucking 3

Welcome to NFL Week 3!  Here’s a recap of the current Power Ranks.

joebeer.pngLast year was no accident for JJ Wattshappenin. With a team powered by Kareem Hunt, C.J. Anderson, and Tyreek Hill they were able to kick down the fucking doors to 2017 and put up over 95 points in weeks 1 and 2.

“I’m an International Grand Master chess prodigy while all these other clowns are playing Connect Four,”

is what Joe had to say as he extends his winning streak to 6 games if we carry over from last season.  Their last loss was to division rival Mercs in week 11 which is who they will face in week 3.



Why are offenses so shitty this year?  After two weeks of being a 12-team league, we’ve seen a massive drop in average points per game.  Last year in week 1, SBFFL averaged  90.89 PPG compared to this years 72.48 PPG.  Week 2 was a little better at 77.28 PPG compared to last years 86.98 PPG.  It is a small sample size and I expect the averages to go up after we’ve seen more games and know what to expect from offenses.  You can chalk it up to expanding our league, but we certainly can’t argue with how terrible almost every single offense in the NFL has been.



Shit Start of the Week:  Pool Rats started an injured Danny Amendola earning a big fat goose egg.




Waiver Add of the Week:  Rex’s Revenge picking up Buck Allen proved to be the best waiver add of the week earning 16.1 points in the flex.



welcome_mat_2Meet our league’s Welcome Mat: The Most Blounted, is off to an extremely rocky start.  Fans of the team are learning about a new level of horrendous fantasy football as they have yet to score over 48 points in the first two weeks.  I’m not sure which is more impressive, the fact that they haven’t topped 48 or the fact that they are so dedicated to their team name that Blount will go into the flex slot regardless of talent and situation.  41.9 points in week 2 earn their first PD of the year and 2nd of their 2-season + 2-week career.

Week 3 Power Ranks

  • 1. J.J. Wattshappenin
  • 2. Bangers and Thrash
  • 3. Werd Dawgs
  • 4. FAF HAM
  • 5. Oregon Trail Battlewagon
  • 6 (T). South Main Mercs
  • 6 (T). Drop it Like it’s Popp
  • 8. Cushing 40 Pushing
  • 9. Four Loko Power Trip
  • 10. Pool Rats
  • 11. Rex’s Revenge
  • 12. The Most Blounted