Category: News

Playoff Picture

  1. Drop it Like it’s Popp (9-4):  Tied with Bangers and Thrash and MostBlounted. To see who wins the Canadian Bacon Division we need to break the tie with Bangers first. Division H2H series with Bangers split 1-1, both of their division records are at 3-2, so if they both win this week it would fall to Points, and Popp has a nice lead over the whole league in points.  They also have the H2H edge over MostBlounted.  So basically a win for Popp this week will secure the #1 seed and a bye.  They could fall as low as #4 with a Loss and both Bangers/MostBlounted come out with a W.
  2. TheMostBlounted (9-4): Uncle Buck Division locked, bye week locked.  They are in the 3-way tie with Bangers/Popp for best record but they both hold H2H tiebreakers over them.  The only way they can reach #1 seed is with a W and a Bangers AND Popp loss.
  3. Corn Friends (8-5): Spaceballs the Division locked.  Unable to reach a bye week,  any potential 9-5 ties would be broken with H2H L’s against Blounted/Popp.  #3 locked by winning the division.
  4. Bangers and Thrash (9-4):  With no one else able to reach 9 wins, they will stay here at #4, OR jump all the way to #1 with a W AND a Popp Loss.  Their bye week and division championship hinges on these two Canadian Bacon matchups.
  5. #TrustGOD (7-6): Next best record puts them here at #5 for now.  A Win can keep them here as no one else is able to reach 8 wins.  A loss could leave them tied with Battlewagon/WerdDawgs if they both come up with a win making them all 7-7. 
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A tie (7-7) with Werd Dawgs will drop them down to #6 since they were swept H2H.  A tie with Battlewagon will keep them at #5 since they have the H2H W.  A threeway is where it would get tricky, but the lowest they could fall is #6.  Because of the uneven number of matchups the tie would be broken by division record, and #trustGOD only has 1 division win.

  1. Battlewagon (6-7): tied with Werd Dawgs, has the H2H edge to hold the #6 spot for now.  Entering into a 3 way tie with #TrustGod/Werd Dawgs will knock them down to #7 and out of the playoffs.  They absolutely need a W and a Werd Dawgs Loss, OR a W and a #TrustGOD Win. 
  2. Werd Dawgs (6-7): tied with Battlewagon, on the fringes of the playoffs.  A 3 way tie with #TrustGod/Battlewagon would bump them up to #5 because of the division record tiebreaker.  They either need a W AND a Battlewagon Loss, OR a W with a Battlewagon W AND a #TrustGod loss.  They WANT a threeway tie, they DON’T WANT a two way tie with Battlewagon.
  3. JJ Wattshappenin (5-8): Currently in a 4 way tie, unable to be broken by H2H record bc of uneven matchups, but even if we did use H2H between all 4 teams, it came out perfectly balanced at 2-2 W/L.  Go down the line to the next tiebreaker which is division record, where they are now tied with sQuisus at (3-2).  Break this tie with points where they have over a 100 point edge to break that tie.  If they win and Werd Dawgs/Battlewagon both lose, they do NOT have a chance of sneaking into the playoffs getting 2x L’s H2H against them.
  4. sQuisus (5-8): Things really start getting tricky here.  After JJ Wattshappenin’ they are still in a 3-way tie with Rex and Pool Rats.  Here’s where it gets interesting.  If Both Battlewagon/Werd Dawgs lose and they end up in a 3-way tie at (6-8), they would get the H2H tiebreaker for sweeping Battlewagon and beating Werd Dawgs H2H, even with uneven matchups they would be 3-0 along with the edge on Div Record, which COULD get them to the playoffs at #6.  Amazing.  This scenario could be ruined by the other 5-8 teams that I haven’t looked at yet, but if this specific 3-way tie plays out, they could get a ticket to the dance.  Gotta love divisions right?
  5. Rex’s Revenge (5-8):  left along with Pool Rats as the other 5-8 teams, Rex has the 1-0 H2H tiebreaker, bringing them to 10.  If Rex ends up in a 3 way (6-8) tie with Werd Dawgs/Battlewagon they would NOT have the division record in order to get the #6 seed. 
  6. Pool Rats (5-8): Next best 5-8 team goes here, and get ready for this.  If both the Werd Dawgs and Battlewagon lose along with a Pool Rats victory, that would leave a 4-way tie at (6-8) between sQuisus/Werd Dawgs/Battlewagon, where the Pool Rats have secured a H2H victory against all 3 fucking teams. They can actually fucking jump all the way to #6 and make the playoffs.  
  7. Laces Out (4-9): Better luck next year my guy.

Week 3 Preview

1. JJ Wattshappenin – A team nobody wants to face right now.  Lamar coming off a 40+ point week and the production of 2x top 5 RBs Swift and Robinson have kicked this team off to a very strong start.  As I stated in the podcast, when Lamar turns on the jets I feel like we will see a lot of 120pt weeks from JJ.  When Pittman and Kittle get back in the lineup they’re going to be tough to stop.

2. Corn Friends – Strong start but kind of a busted week 2 that happened to be saved by Tyreek Hill and Josh Allen, without those two it would have been a disaster.  This team will need more than just a couple monster performances to keep the Spaceballs sweep going against JJ Wattshappenin this week.

3t. Werd Dawgs – A lot of more of a team effort putting up points in week 2 than week 1.  TE Schultz blew out his knee early against the Bengals but didn’t stop them from getting a nice 119pts.  Kupp, CEH, and Aaron Jones look to lead them to another victory over Bangers N Thrash this week, they are up 7-4 career H2H.

3t. Bangers N Thrash – MEGA victory in week 2 for the lead bacon banner collector in SBFFL (15).  The price paid?  Trey Lance RIP.  Even if St. Brown keeps going off (I’m not sure he will) they also have a couple young gem WRs on the bench Bateman/London that are really stepping up.  With Kirk Cousins taking over at QB, they look to close the career H2H deficit against the Werd Dawgs starting with Nick Chubb tonight vs. the Steelers.    

5. TheMostBlounted – I just watched the Eagles game this morning and all I have to say is Jalen Hurts looked…. Amazing.  Here I am eating crow.  This lineup has been very boom/busty through 2 weeks, so we will see if they get enough firepower to take down Rex’s Revenge, which would even out their career H2H (currently down 5-6).  This seems like the type of lineup that on any given week they could have multiple 30pt players.

6. DropItLikeItsPopp – The highest ranked team currently that is also 0-2.  Popp’s rank is based mostly on his consistency and his top 5 rank in overall wins and roster score.  While I’m here, I’ll continue to eat crow on Christian Kirk who is proving to be one of the best weapons in the lineup.  This team is better than their record says.  They lost week 1 by just a few points, and they lost the Maple Bowl last week by playing the bacon banner winner and under par performances from Mixon, Fournette, and Thielen.  Looking to close the gap H2H against #trustGOD this week (5-9).

7. Rex’s Revenge – Big drop off between week 1 and 2 with a lot of bed shit from Russell Wilson, Barkley, Henry, and Dillon not to mention the Mike Evans Punch that got him kicked out of the game.  I still back this team’s power trio of RBs.  They have a perfect 100 roster score and I believe it, I think they’re capable of a lot more. They just woke up last Sunday and chose bed shit.  

Little Sussy Boy

8. sQuisus – Big improvement from week 1, mostly because of the massive game from Waddle in the Madden game that was MIA vs. BLT.  They’ve already dealt with a Keenan Allen injury and now RB problems emerge as Cook hasn’t produced as a 1st round pick and I believe they lost James Conner to an injury.  Not to mention a Jeudy injury as well.  We’ll see how they piece it together, but the odds are good facing our B2B pickledick Battlewagon this week. (1-1 career H2H)

9. Laces Out – the absolute definition of underperformance.  Horrible luck across the entire lineup and the one bright spot in Herbert suffered a rib injury and is still questionable going into week 3.  Biggest WTF was from Mooney only getting .1 points, also wondering when the J-E-T-S realize they should be giving more volume to Breece Hall instead of Michael Carter.  They look to bounce back this week against Pool Rats (2-0 undefeated H2H).

10. #trustGOD – Nice improvement and pretty good showing in week 2 even without Alvin Kamara, they just fell a little short to the Werd Dawgs and are now sitting at 0-2.  A few big names on this roster have yet to perform at the FAFHAM standard, mostly Aaron Rodgers and DJ Moore.  If Diggs keeps balling out they should be able to turn it around right?  We’ll find out against Popp this week (9-5 career H2H)

11. Pool Rats – A step in the right direction but not enough to take down JJ.  Most players performed avg to good and of course Kyler was Kyler.  That 2pt conversion that took like 45 seconds was the funniest fucking thing lol.  This team is starting to look a lot more capable and not as helpless after putting up 92 in week 2 and 68 in week 1 .  They look to get their first career win vs. Laces Out here in week 3.

12. Battlewagon – 2 Pickles dicks in 2 weeks for a team that typically doesn’t get pickle dicks at all.  63 points in both weeks and it’s not looking good.  Huge blow getting stuck with Gabe Davis in the flex and him not playing at all on Monday night, but still would have lost had he not put up more that like 45 points give or take.  I wouldn’t bet on it, but they MIGHT be able to pull off an upset against the injury ridden sQuisus.  Don’t get a pickle dick hat trick, should we make a word for that?  Trickle Dick?

Good luck this week, everyone.  Enjoy your football!

2020 Kickoff: Season 9, Here We Go!

Hey everyone, welcome back to another exciting season of Slab Bacon fantasy football! Congratulations to Four Loko Power Trip on their first Porkgasm following a 9-4 season! I think we can all agree that the addition of Superstar Quarterback Dane Evans to their team will solidify their spot in the Pork Bowl again this year. Now we are ready to kick-off 2020 on Thursday September 10th. Just a quick reminder about amendments regarding COVID this season. There are 3 IR slots, 1 of them will be used as a normal IR slot (IR and OUT players only) and the other 2 slots will be used for COVID reasons only. We will carry out the season as normal unless it gets cut shorter than 8 weeks, in which case we will scrap the season and everyone will get a refund. Also, I’m not sure what events will be used to determine draft order for 2021, I will put together a different pentathlon or something similar, hopefully before kick-off. Other than that, everything is exactly the same. Also put in a team name and put up a respectable logo for fuck’s sake! We’re supposed to be a premium league, no one wants to play “Team PersonsName” next to a default avatar. Show some pride in team ownership! Get those lineups ready for 9/10. Good luck everyone!