Week 3 Preview

1. JJ Wattshappenin – A team nobody wants to face right now.  Lamar coming off a 40+ point week and the production of 2x top 5 RBs Swift and Robinson have kicked this team off to a very strong start.  As I stated in the podcast, when Lamar turns on the jets I feel like we will see a lot of 120pt weeks from JJ.  When Pittman and Kittle get back in the lineup they’re going to be tough to stop.

2. Corn Friends – Strong start but kind of a busted week 2 that happened to be saved by Tyreek Hill and Josh Allen, without those two it would have been a disaster.  This team will need more than just a couple monster performances to keep the Spaceballs sweep going against JJ Wattshappenin this week.

3t. Werd Dawgs – A lot of more of a team effort putting up points in week 2 than week 1.  TE Schultz blew out his knee early against the Bengals but didn’t stop them from getting a nice 119pts.  Kupp, CEH, and Aaron Jones look to lead them to another victory over Bangers N Thrash this week, they are up 7-4 career H2H.

3t. Bangers N Thrash – MEGA victory in week 2 for the lead bacon banner collector in SBFFL (15).  The price paid?  Trey Lance RIP.  Even if St. Brown keeps going off (I’m not sure he will) they also have a couple young gem WRs on the bench Bateman/London that are really stepping up.  With Kirk Cousins taking over at QB, they look to close the career H2H deficit against the Werd Dawgs starting with Nick Chubb tonight vs. the Steelers.    

5. TheMostBlounted – I just watched the Eagles game this morning and all I have to say is Jalen Hurts looked…. Amazing.  Here I am eating crow.  This lineup has been very boom/busty through 2 weeks, so we will see if they get enough firepower to take down Rex’s Revenge, which would even out their career H2H (currently down 5-6).  This seems like the type of lineup that on any given week they could have multiple 30pt players.

6. DropItLikeItsPopp – The highest ranked team currently that is also 0-2.  Popp’s rank is based mostly on his consistency and his top 5 rank in overall wins and roster score.  While I’m here, I’ll continue to eat crow on Christian Kirk who is proving to be one of the best weapons in the lineup.  This team is better than their record says.  They lost week 1 by just a few points, and they lost the Maple Bowl last week by playing the bacon banner winner and under par performances from Mixon, Fournette, and Thielen.  Looking to close the gap H2H against #trustGOD this week (5-9).

7. Rex’s Revenge – Big drop off between week 1 and 2 with a lot of bed shit from Russell Wilson, Barkley, Henry, and Dillon not to mention the Mike Evans Punch that got him kicked out of the game.  I still back this team’s power trio of RBs.  They have a perfect 100 roster score and I believe it, I think they’re capable of a lot more. They just woke up last Sunday and chose bed shit.  

Little Sussy Boy

8. sQuisus – Big improvement from week 1, mostly because of the massive game from Waddle in the Madden game that was MIA vs. BLT.  They’ve already dealt with a Keenan Allen injury and now RB problems emerge as Cook hasn’t produced as a 1st round pick and I believe they lost James Conner to an injury.  Not to mention a Jeudy injury as well.  We’ll see how they piece it together, but the odds are good facing our B2B pickledick Battlewagon this week. (1-1 career H2H)

9. Laces Out – the absolute definition of underperformance.  Horrible luck across the entire lineup and the one bright spot in Herbert suffered a rib injury and is still questionable going into week 3.  Biggest WTF was from Mooney only getting .1 points, also wondering when the J-E-T-S realize they should be giving more volume to Breece Hall instead of Michael Carter.  They look to bounce back this week against Pool Rats (2-0 undefeated H2H).

10. #trustGOD – Nice improvement and pretty good showing in week 2 even without Alvin Kamara, they just fell a little short to the Werd Dawgs and are now sitting at 0-2.  A few big names on this roster have yet to perform at the FAFHAM standard, mostly Aaron Rodgers and DJ Moore.  If Diggs keeps balling out they should be able to turn it around right?  We’ll find out against Popp this week (9-5 career H2H)

11. Pool Rats – A step in the right direction but not enough to take down JJ.  Most players performed avg to good and of course Kyler was Kyler.  That 2pt conversion that took like 45 seconds was the funniest fucking thing lol.  This team is starting to look a lot more capable and not as helpless after putting up 92 in week 2 and 68 in week 1 .  They look to get their first career win vs. Laces Out here in week 3.

12. Battlewagon – 2 Pickles dicks in 2 weeks for a team that typically doesn’t get pickle dicks at all.  63 points in both weeks and it’s not looking good.  Huge blow getting stuck with Gabe Davis in the flex and him not playing at all on Monday night, but still would have lost had he not put up more that like 45 points give or take.  I wouldn’t bet on it, but they MIGHT be able to pull off an upset against the injury ridden sQuisus.  Don’t get a pickle dick hat trick, should we make a word for that?  Trickle Dick?

Good luck this week, everyone.  Enjoy your football!

2020 Kickoff: Season 9, Here We Go!

Hey everyone, welcome back to another exciting season of Slab Bacon fantasy football! Congratulations to Four Loko Power Trip on their first Porkgasm following a 9-4 season! I think we can all agree that the addition of Superstar Quarterback Dane Evans to their team will solidify their spot in the Pork Bowl again this year. Now we are ready to kick-off 2020 on Thursday September 10th. Just a quick reminder about amendments regarding COVID this season. There are 3 IR slots, 1 of them will be used as a normal IR slot (IR and OUT players only) and the other 2 slots will be used for COVID reasons only. We will carry out the season as normal unless it gets cut shorter than 8 weeks, in which case we will scrap the season and everyone will get a refund. Also, I’m not sure what events will be used to determine draft order for 2021, I will put together a different pentathlon or something similar, hopefully before kick-off. Other than that, everything is exactly the same. Also put in a team name and put up a respectable logo for fuck’s sake! We’re supposed to be a premium league, no one wants to play “Team PersonsName” next to a default avatar. Show some pride in team ownership! Get those lineups ready for 9/10. Good luck everyone!

Playoff Picture

  1. Drop it like it’s Popp (9-3) – Best record in the league with a #1 Seed and a Bye week. Canadian Bacon victory is locked.
    • Made Playoffs
    • A win over Brian this week will lock the #1 Seed.
    • If Popp loses to Brian AND Carlos beats Cole, Dan can fall to the #2 Seed. This would make both Carlos and Dan 9-4, and Carlos has the H2H tiebreaker over Dan.
    • Bye Week is Locked. Chris G and Cole could also tie Dan if Dan loses to Brian this week, but Dan has the H2H tiebreaker over both.
  1. South Main Mercs (8-4) – tied with two other Uncle Buck teams- Four Loko Power Trip and The Most Blounted. Spaceballs victory is locked.
    • Made Playoffs
    • Currently holds the number two spot because of the division winner tiebreaker in Uncle Buck. The 3 division winners get the top 3 seeds, and since Cole beat Carlos, Cole is the current division winner, and I have the H2H tiebreaker over Cole.
    • If the Mercs beat JJ Wattshappenin’ AND Four Loko Power Trip beats The Most Blounted, the Mercs will secure the #2 and a bye week because of their H2H victory over FLPT.
    • Since the division is locked, even if Mercs lose, the lowest they can fall is the #3 and miss the bye week.
  1. Four Loko Power Trip (8-4) – three-way tie with Mercs/Most Blounted. Holding H2H tiebreaker lead over Carlos on top of Uncle Buck and #3 seed.
    • Made Playoffs
    • A win over Most Blounted this week will secure the division.
    • A win over Most Blounted AND if JJ Wattshappenin’ beats the Mercs, Power Trip can secure the #2 and bye week.
    • Lowest they can fall is #4 if they lose to Most Blounted and the Mercs beat JJ Wattshappenin
  1. The Most Blounted (8-4) – in the (8-4) threesome with Power Trip and Mercs. Stuck at #4 because the Mercs have the division locked and can’t fall below #3.  Does not have the H2H tiebreaker over Power Trip to hold the #2 seed/Uncle Buck division.
    • Made Playoffs
    • A win over Power Trip will secure a bye week and an Uncle Buck Championship.
    • A win over Power Trip AND Popp loss to FAFHAM will secure the #1 seed.
    • A loss to Power Trip will keep them right here at #4.
  1. Werd Dawgs (6-6) – another three-way tie with Bangers and Thrash/Rex’s Revenge. These teams haven’t all played each other so we must fall to Division record tiebreaker where the Werd Dawgs have the edge and #5.
    • Must Win situation.
    • A win over Bangers AND Battlewagon win over Rex’s Revenge will secure the #5 seed
    • A win over Bangers AND Rex’s Revenge win over Battlewagon will knock them down to #6 since Rex has the H2H tiebreaker.
    • A loss will eliminate playoff hopes- will lose Division win tiebreaker to Zack and will lose H2H tiebreaker to Blake.
    • A loss to Bangers AND a FAFHAM win, Battlewagon win, and 2 Bears 1 Kupp win, a very unlikely scenario, but will create a 5-way tiebreaker of (6-7) teams that could have them fall as far as #10 or as high as #7 depending on points.
  1. Bangers and Thrash (6-6) – in the (6-6) tiebreaker with Werd Dawgs/Rex’s Revenge. Blake and Mike do not have a matchup this season to break the tie, so it falls to division where Mike breaks the tie.
    • Must Win situation.
    • A win over Werd Dawgs will bump them to #5, Blake could still tie them with a win over Zack, but Mike’s Division Record would break that tie.
    • A loss to Werd Dawgs will knock them out of the playoffs because regardless of what happens between Rex/Battlewagon, Blake would have more wins, and a 6-win tiebreaker with Zack will go to Zack because of Division wins.
    • How far they will fall in the seeds if they lose depends on how the current 5-win team matchups play out this week, but I think could be as low as #10.
  1. Rex’s Revenge (6-6) – three-way with Bangers/Werd Dawgs, lost both rounds of tiebreakers only having 1 Division win which leaves them at #7.
    • Must Win situation.
    • A win over Battlewagon AND a Werd Dawgs win will give them the #5, both teams would be tied at (7-6) but Rex has H2H tiebreaker over Werd Dawgs.
    • A win over Battlewagon AND a Werd Dawgs loss will create a Division Wins tiebreaker that will fall short to Bangers and Thrash, giving them the #6.
    • A loss will eliminate playoff hopes, since they will be tied at 6 wins with a handful of teams and have the lowest division win percentage. I think #10 is the base for the current 5/6-win teams.
  1. Oregon Trail Battlewagon (5-7) – three-way tie with Micheles/Brian, they have all beaten each other so we fall to Division Record tiebreaker where Zack breaks it with 3, earning the #8.
    • Must Win situation.
    • IF he wins, it appears he will win any tiebreaker with a 6-win team because of his 4 division wins. H2H tiebreakers aren’t likely to come into play because if he wins, there will be at least 4 teams with 6-wins, and we can’t use H2H tiebreakers if the teams haven’t played each other the same number of times.
    • A loss to Rex will eliminate playoff hopes, having 5 wins will not be good enough for the #6.
  1. FAFHAM (5-7) – three-way tie with Zack/Micheles- lost division win tiebreaker to Zack, beat Micheles H2H.
    • No Chance at playoffs.
    • Even with a win, the 6-win multi-team tiebreaker can’t possibly land them the #6 since the Division wins are out of reach
  1. 2 Bears 1 Kupp (5-7) – three-way tie with Zack/Brian- lost division win tiebreaker to Zack, lost to FAFHAM H2H.
    • No Chance at playoffs.
    • Even with a win, the 6-win multi-team tiebreaker can’t possibly land them the #6 since the Division wins are out of reach
  1. Pool Rats (3-8) – tied record with JJ, tied H2H with JJ, has 1 extra division win for tiebreaker.
    • No Chance at playoffs.
    • Stuck with Toilet Bowl Bye Week.
  1. JJ Wattshappenin (3-8) – tied with Pool Rats, tied H2H, loses division record tiebreaker
    • No Chance at playoffs.
    • Stuck with Toilet Bowl Bye Week.